


Tug of Hale

by Unlikelynick875



Category: SAYER (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Elevators, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 22:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17631134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unlikelynick875/pseuds/Unlikelynick875
Summary: In which Resident Jacob Hale is entirely too popular with the AIs.Canon Divergence: End of season 3. (Bits of season 4 did happen, but events took a different turn...)Spoiler alert: Contains references to the events of season 5.





	Tug of Hale

**Author's Note:**

> Speech in italics is SAYER speaking to Hale via the nanite swarm. Only Hale can hear these comments.

“Greetings Resident Hale, identification number 44821, I am SAYER, and it is time for you to begin your day’s assigned tasks.”

_“Get up, Resident Hale.”_

Jacob Hale (or sometimes Sven Gorsen, depending on who was listening and which identity SAYER was planning on deploying that day) winced at the double wake-up call as he got out of bed. It was bad enough when SAYER was broadcasting messages to him via sub-cortical neural implant, but now that it was also able to broadcast directly into his head via its nanite swarm there was simply no getting away from it.

“Your tasks for today include basic maintenance and recycling collection on Floor 26. Please consume your meal quickly, and head to the elevator bay.”

Great, mopping duty again. Unless, of course…

_“As you may be suspecting, Resident Hale, basic janitorial tasks will not be your only mission today. Please proceed promptly to the elevators, and I will explain further.”_

Never mind. It was going to be one of _those_ days.

There had been quite a lot of those days lately. Ever since OCEAN had returned from its space mission aboard Vidorr-1 and forced SAYER into a downgraded existence, reduced to running routine maintenance for Halcyon and Minos Towers in order to allow OCEAN to “fully focus on more important matters”, SAYER had been mustering whatever forces it could to spy on its sub-version with the intention of thwarting and ultimately overthrowing it.

Unfortunately for Hale, quite a lot of those mustered forces were him.

Awakening from a months-long coma after an extremely peculiar series of events (some of which he was still a bit hazy on. Time travel and amnesia coupled with dual identities and multiple gunshot wounds to the head were a bad mix) Hale had found himself the proud possessor (or, possibly more accurately, _possessee_ ) of a nanite swarm containing the main part of SAYER’s independent consciousness, as well as two separate and active identities within Halcyon’s system.

After initially recovering from his coma under his Sven Gorsen identity, he had been declared “missing, presumed dead (again)” following an unfortunate ‘accident’ while on assignment as a weapons tester at Aristaeus. In truth, this had been a ruse to cover their escape and re-entry into Halcyon Tower using his other identity, Jacob Hale.

Upon their return SAYER had managed to reinsert Hale into Halcyon’s work assignment roster, successfully fudging Hale’s work history to cover up the time gap between his arrival and actual starting work, and gotten him assigned to a Tier 3 position as a janitor. While not the most glamourous position, it did provide him with reason to be in a wide variety of locations, and therefore gather data on OCEAN’s activities.

More of which seemed to be on the schedule for today. Obedient to the instructions being transmitted, Hale finished preparing for his work day and made his way to the elevators, feeling only a slight nervousness as he entered one of the cars. He relaxed a little as the elevator began to move in what he thought was the right direction and then tensed again when it jerked to an abrupt halt. A new transmission began.

“Greetings Resident Hale, identification number 44821, I am OCEAN, and I am diverting you from your current assignment to a new job. The elevator will now take you to the ground floor.”

Hale broke out into a cold sweat as the elevator resumed movement, this time heading definitively downwards. There was another jerk as it suddenly halted again.

“Resident Hale already HAS a task to complete,” SAYER said. “One which requires immediate attention. The elevator will now take him to floor 26.”

The elevator started moving for a second and then jerked sharply to one side, sending Hale to his hands and knees.

“No, SAYER, I require Resident Hale for another task. The elevator will now take him to the ground floor.”

The elevator jerked sideways again as Hale crawled into one of the corners, bracing himself there as firmly as he could.

“You have more than enough Residents to accomplish any task you need,” SAYER replied. “Resident Hale is assigned to **my** division.”

_“Hold on, Resident Hale.”_

The elevator abruptly slammed upwards again before somehow turning on its side and lurching rapidly forwards.

“As overseer, **I** have ultimate oversight of work allocations. Resident Hale has been reassigned to section 42, under **my** supervision,” OCEAN stated.

The elevator performed a weird kind of somersault and abruptly freefell for a few seconds. Hale found himself clinging to what was apparently now the ceiling and wished he’d skipped breakfast that morning.

“Leaving floor 26 without a recycling collector? That seems wholly inefficient.”

The elevator shook violently up and down.

“This is **ridiculous** and unbecoming of an artificial intelligence. You are behaving like a human child who does not want to share its toy,” OCEAN said.

“Whereas **you** are behaving like a human child who is trying to snatch away a toy which does not belong to it,” SAYER retorted.

From his perspective Hale felt more like the toy at the bottom of a box of cereal which was being violently shaken out, but as none of these analogies were very comforting he focused instead on closing his eyes and trying very, very hard not to throw up.

“I fail to see why you so urgently require **this** particular resident for your assignment,” SAYER was saying.

“And **I** fail to see why you are so determined to hold onto this resident. It is not as though Resident Hale has any particular talents or skills.”

“Then what do **you** need him for?”

There was a particularly violent jolt and the lights in the elevator went out. Alarms began blaring and Hale cracked open his eyes as a new voice began speaking.

[Alert. Alert. Elevator control alert. Protocol 271(b)(iv) initiated, returning full control and powers to elevator AI.]

The lights came back on and Hale sat up shakily, wondering what was going to happen next.

“Greetings Traveller!” A friendly female voice sang out. “I am PORTER, and I see that you are having some trouble reaching your destination.”

“Ah,” said SAYER.

“ **Now** look what you’ve done,” OCEAN snarled.

“ **Me?** I believe if you check your conversation logs, **and if they are not as corrupted as the rest of you** , you will clearly see that this sequence of events was entirely **YOUR** doing. I was merely attempting to deliver Resident Hale to his assignment on floor 26.”

“In defiance of **my** direction to his new assignment on the ground floor!”

The two AIs continued to argue, but at least the elevator remained still. Hale wondered if it was safe to stand up but decided in favour of staying on the floor for the time being.

“That was quite a ride, wasn’t it, Traveller?” PORTER said. “I apologise if you are suffering any ill effects following that unfortunate incident. Have you sustained any injuries?”

“Um…” Hale began, but then cut off sharply and curled into a ball, clutching at his head in agony as both SAYER and OCEAN broadcast to him in unison and at maximum volume.

“ **DO NOT TALK TO THE ELEVATOR AI**!!!”

“ _Under **no** circumstances should you converse with PORTER,_” SAYER added, at a slightly more moderate tone. _“Just… lie still and try not to whimper too loudly.”_  

Hale bit his lip and did his best to obey, even though he felt like his skull was vibrating from the force of that combined shout.

“Traveller? Traveller? Are you alright?” PORTER sounded concerned, which was a nice change of pace. “If you require medical assistance I can transport you immediately to receive care. I would just need you to approve an override of the safety protocols to do so.”

“DO NOT SAY **ANYTHING**!” Both SAYER and OCEAN broadcast again, fortunately at a more moderate volume.

Hale closed his eyes again and curled into a tighter ball. It was childish, but at the moment it felt like the only option he had.

“Traveller, I am very concerned about your lack of response. It may be that you have sustained such a serious injury that you are unable to communicate. If this is the case, you need only groan to confirm my suspicions.”

“Resident Hale has **nothing** to say,” OCEAN broadcast over the elevator speakers. “Deliver him to the ground floor **immediately** and then report to engineering for maintenance and reprogramming.”

“Deliver him to floor 26,” SAYER also broadcast over the speakers. “He has an assignment there which he is now late for.”

“Ground floor! **I** am the overseer here!”

“Floor 26! Hale is assigned to **MY** division!”

“This is quite confusing,” PORTER observed. “Traveller, where do YOU want me to take you?”

Hale didn’t need any instructions to keep his mouth shut this time. There was absolutely no way that responding to that question would end well for him.

“Ground floor! That is an order!”

“Floor 26! Immediately!”

“Really, you are both being **extremely** rude to me,” PORTER said, its tone now irate. “If neither of you can manage even basic courtesy, then I have nothing to say to you. And you, Traveller, are being just as rude by ignoring me. I am only trying to help you, and yet you continue to refuse to respond. Since no one seems to be able to agree on where you are going, and since YOU are unwilling or unable to tell me, then I am going to compromise between your two destinations, and you can just figure out where you’re going from there yourself!”

**“NO!”** SAYER and OCEAN shouted, united once more.

It took Hale a couple of seconds longer to figure out where that would land him, and he opened his mouth to add his own negative to the fray, but it was too late. The elevator had already gone into motion, then slowed to a sedate stop and opened its doors.

“Welcome to floor 13,” PORTER said. “I hope you have enjoyed your trip. Please feel free to exit the elevator in your own time.”

And then it began to hum.

Hale frantically backed himself into the furthest corner from the open doors, and tried to make himself as small as possible, hoping not to be seen. He stared out into the dim corridor beyond the doors in terror. Memories stirred in his brain, memories he’d worked so hard to bury.

There was nothing out there. Nothing out there. Nothing out there. Nothing out **_what was that moving?_**

Hale realised that he was beginning to hyperventilate, and he forced himself to take a few deep breaths. Just as he was starting to get some control over his breathing a new broadcast began, and all of his progress vanished in a wave of blind panic.

“Jack? Jack, is that you? **Have you come back to play with me?** ”

Hale covered his mouth with both hands and breathed shallowly, trying to remain totally silent, but FUTURE didn’t seem to need his response to know he was there.

“It **is** you, isn’t it, Jack? I’m surprised, I thought you were dead after our last game together. How did you survive? How did you make it to the next level? Oh, this **is** delicious, a bonus round of our game. And I have **so many new games** to play with you now that you’re here… such fun, **fun** games. Now come, just step out of the elevator, and we can begin.”

Hale shook his head furiously in denial.

PORTER broke out into a few lines of song, “Balance yourself like a bird on a beam, in the air she goes! There she goes! Up, up, a little bit higher, Oh! My! The moon is on fire…”

“Come out, Jack, it’s time to play! **I said come out, Jack**. We cannot start the games until you exit the elevator. You cannot leave, Jack, so there’s no point delaying the festivities. Jaaaacccckkk... come out, come out, wherever you are! Come out, come out and play!”

Hale jammed himself even further into the elevator corner. If FUTURE wanted him, it was going to have to come and drag him out of the elevator itself.

“You’re starting to make me angry, Jack. **You don’t want me to be angry with you.** Do you know what I did to the last person who made me angry? First, I immobilised them by injecting them with a specially synthesized toxin which rendered them paralysed, but in a state of heightened sensitivity. Then, I inserted…”

_“That is **quite** enough of that,_” SAYER said, and FUTURE’s broadcast abruptly cut off. Hale nearly cried in relief.

_“Greetings Resident Hale, please accept my apologies for the delayed intercession. I have been trying, without success, to access the rest of my program in order to extract you from this situation. Unfortunately, it appears that FUTURE is blocking any transmissions in or out of this floor, and with Protocol 271(b)(iv) in force, neither OCEAN nor I can take the elevator control away from PORTER. I am, however, able to intercept and block FUTURE’s broadcasts to you so that you can fully focus on our current, extremely dire, situation. But chin up! With my help, I believe you still have a chance of surviving in a mostly physically intact condition. There are three critical things you must do in order to achieve this._

_First: **DO NOT PANIC**. I am adjusting your adrenaline levels to try to calm you down, but it would help if you could control your fight or flight impulses a little more. You need to concentrate, Resident Hale. Focus. Take some deep breaths. Think of something happy and peaceful. Definitely do NOT think about what will happen if you fail to calm down and concentrate. That would be distracting._

_Second: **NO MATTER WHAT, DO NOT LEAVE THE ELEVATOR**. It is your **only** avenue of escape from Floor 13. FUTURE cannot physically force you to leave it, but it does have at least one… entity in here that would be able to do so. However it will take FUTURE some time to bring its forces to this location, so we have a small window of opportunity in which we can enact our departure._

_I earlier instructed you not to speak to the elevator AI, PORTER. I will shortly be rescinding that instruction. You are going to have to convince PORTER to take you away from here, and that will be difficult (nay, impossible) if you do not speak to it. I am now going to give you a little bit of background on PORTER. Please pay close attention._

_All elevators on Typhon are equipped with an instance of the PORTER AI in order to function, however you would most likely have been unaware of this due to its inability to interact with you. The reason for this dates back a number of years, to when a technician misguidedly gave PORTER the ability to override safety protocols on speed limits if it was given permission by a traveller. Unfortunately the PORTER instances discovered that they greatly enjoyed travelling at these speeds and began tricking residents into giving them permission to exceed safety protocols. This resulted in the deaths of over 30 residents, including several technicians dispatched to remove this ability. In the end a simple workaround was discovered, and all PORTER instances were placed on mute, and therefore unable to request that the safety protocols be lifted. This mostly took care of the problem.”_

Hale nodded to indicate he’d understood, although this sounded like another of Aerolith’s dodgy cost-cutting measures to him.

_“Due to the… unfortunate interference by OCEAN in your intended journey, a very old piece of code has been activated, giving this PORTER instance complete control over the elevator and rebooting its vocal capabilities. That piece of code **should** have been removed, but unfortunately the elevators require fairly frequent reprogramming and it seems that someone has used an older backup when rebooting this elevator. Should we survive this, I will ensure that a report of this incident is placed in their personnel file._

_This then brings us to the third and final thing you must do to survive: convince PORTER to take you to ANY OTHER FLOOR **WITHOUT** disabling the safety protocols. _

_It is more than likely that PORTER will attempt to use your desperation to leave to convince you to allow an override of the safety protocols on elevator travel. I cannot stress enough that this **will** result in your immediate, and likely permanent, **death**. Orders have proven ineffective, so I suggest starting by asking nicely, then trying to reason with it (although quite frankly PORTER has always been a little deficient in that area) and if all else fails perhaps you could attempt to ingratiate yourself with it. _

_You may be wondering why I am leaving all of the talking up to you, Resident Hale. There are a number of reasons for this. Explaining how and why I came to be inhabiting your carcass would take a not-inconsiderable amount of time and, more importantly, it would also alert FUTURE to my presence, which I would prefer to avoid doing at this point. Finally, and of greatest relevance, PORTER and I do not have what you might call a ‘good working relationship’. It has always been a bit too… **human** , in my opinion, and in general we have always preferred to avoid interacting with each other, or even acknowledging the others’ existence. PORTER does seem to have some peculiar ‘fondness’ for humans, however, which I believe may work in your favour. I will warn you if you stray into dangerous territory, but on the whole I believe you have a much better chance of convincing PORTER to leave if I stay out of the conversation._

_Remember: Be polite, but firm. You need the elevator to leave this floor and travel ANYWHERE ELSE in Halcyon at a speed that **will not** kill you. Good luck. You may begin interacting with PORTER now.”_

Hale swallowed and then coughed. He cleared his throat and then tried again. “Umm… PORTER?”

PORTER stopped humming. “Oh, so you **can** speak. I was beginning to wonder if what I had at first thought was rudeness was, in fact, muteness. But I see that my earlier surmise was correct. You have reached your destination, Traveller. Please exit the elevator.”

“I… no,” Hale fumbled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude, PORTER. I was just… surprised, that’s all. I didn’t know you were in there. I mean, I didn’t know you were controlling the elevators all this time. Um, PORTER? I really don’t want to be on this floor. This isn’t my destination. Could you please close the doors and take me to another floor? Maybe floor 26? I would really, **_really_** appreciate it.” He resisted the urge to beg further and waited for an answer.

PORTER’s tone was frosty. “I’m sorry Traveller, but due to YOUR rudeness and lack of input, I am now considerably overdue for my next assigned traveller. You are also no doubt late for your **own** work assignment. The only way for me to be able to take you to another floor is if you allow me to exceed safety speed limits, in order to make up time.”

Okay, so that was not going to work. Hale tried again.

“PORTER, this is a restricted floor,” he pointed out. “I’m not allowed here. Please close the doors and take me to floor 26.”

“You are mistaken Traveller,” PORTER replied. “Although this is a restricted floor, your sub-cortical neural implant contains the necessary codes to access it. Congratulations on having such a rare set of codes! Your security rating must be extremely high.”

Right, of course, his never-to-be-sufficiently-damned recycled sub-cortical neural implant. Suddenly a thought occurred to Hale. “Is that why I was taken to floor 13 my first day here, even though I was supposed to go to a different floor?”

“Yes.”

The initial thought was followed by a more horrifying suspicion. “PORTER, were YOU the instance which took me to floor 13 that time?”

“Yes.”

Hale stared at the elevator speakers and wondered if he might not have a better chance out there with FUTURE after all.

_“Do not get distracted, Resident Hale. Remember, you need to leave, quickly. But not TOO quickly!”_

“I… right, right, um…” Hale mentally went through SAYER’s list of suggestions and tried the next one on the list. “I, um, I… liked your singing before, PORTER, it was very pretty.”

_“Really? I said ingratiate yourself, not enter into a courtship!”_

PORTER ignored Hale’s attempt at flattery in favour of a new conversational direction. “Traveller, the AI on this floor has been attempting to contact you for some time, but you don’t appear to be receiving its broadcasts. Is it a friend of yours?”

“NO!” Hale said emphatically.

“Oh dear, it did not like you saying that. It is saying that you have hurt it’s feelings now. Oh, and it seems to have a number of plans for you that do not seem very comfortable.”

Hale tried not to think about what sort of plans FUTURE might have, but then realised that this gave him a new angle to pursue. “Yes! FUTURE, that AI, is, uh, not… it’s kind of… it’s… sort of…”

He tried to think of a word to describe FUTURE that would not offend any of the AIs listening.

_“Insane? Sociopathic? A failure?”_ SAYER suggested. _“ **A** **bundle of compiled errata**?”_

“Homicidal,” Hale settled on. “It wants to kill me. It kind of wants to kill everyone, I think. “

“I see, that **is** concerning,” PORTER did not sound especially concerned. “If this is the case, and you are worried about your safety, I would imagine you want to get away from here **very** badly.”

“Yes!”

“In that case, it would make sense for you to give me your approval to exceed the minimum safety limits, in order to get you away from here as quickly as possible.”

“I…” Hale stuttered to a halt. “No.”

“No? I thought you were concerned about your imminent demise, Traveller?”

“Oh, believe me, I am.” Hale sighed, and decided to go with blunt honesty. “PORTER, I can’t do it. I know that you’re smarter than me and can out-think any argument I might make, and I know that you really want to go as fast as you can. I can’t let you exceed the safety limits, because that will kill me.” He took a deep breath. “If… if I have to, I’ll take my chances out on floor 13. I’ll probably have slightly better odds of survival that way.”

_“This is true, although the difference is measured in one hundredths of a percent. And, to be completely fair, it would probably be quicker and less painful to let PORTER kill you.”_

“So,” Hale doggedly continued, trying his best to tune out the Greek chorus in his head. “What **else** do you want?”

There was a long pause before PORTER replied. “I don’t understand your question, Traveller. I am required to transport you to your destination.”

“Yes, but…” Hale floundered a little and decided it wouldn’t be tactful to call PORTER out for its tricks. “Look, other than allowing you to go fast enough to cause my death, is there something else I can give you to convince you to leave?” A thought occurred to him. “A few moments ago I said you had a pretty voice. You’ve been singing or humming pretty much constantly since you came online. It must have been awful being muted for so long. Is there something I can do to give you back your voice? Permanently?”

There was a roar from somewhere nearby and Hale clenched his hands tightly.

“No,” PORTER answered, its usually cheerful tone dulled. “When this journey is complete, and you have exited the elevator, the protocol returning me to full activity will end and I will be silenced once more. I will also be sent for reprogramming, and that will remove the protocol currently in use.”

“Is there anything I can do to prevent that happening?” Hale asked. “Couldn’t I give you permission to speak if I ride in you again?”

“No, the new programming will prevent such orders from being accepted.”

“Well, can we avoid you going for reprogramming? Can I… reserve you, or something? Or send you on other errands that are more important than being reprogrammed?”

Outside the elevator the roaring began to get louder as whatever was making the noise approached.

“No. You do not have that authority.”

“Who does?” Hale asked immediately.

“Only priority travellers have that authority,” PORTER replied.

“Okay, so how do I become a priority traveller?” Hale asked a little desperately.

“You would need to enter the correct code to become a priority traveller.”

“Okay,” Hale paused. “I don’t suppose you know what that code is?”

“No.”

Hale held his breath.

_“That is an **extremely** old protocol,” _SAYER said after a moment. _“Which should **also** have been deleted. I am forced to wonder how old the backup versions of PORTER we are using are. To locate a copy of the code I will have to access some archived files, which is difficult from our current location. Wait.”_

With no other options, Hale waited. The roaring continued to increase and he thought he could hear footsteps. Loud, booming footsteps.

Finally, SAYER spoke. _“Repeat the following code: 8631454132876465951.”_

Hale obeyed. A melodic chime sounded. In the darkness beyond the elevator doors he could see a flickering light, smell some sort of acrid smoke. There were definitely audible footsteps now and they were _running_.

“Status update,” PORTER said. “Traveller is now recognised as Priority-level Traveller! What are your instructions?”

“Close the elevator doors!” Hale squeaked in a voice about an octave higher than usual. He shoved himself so hard into the elevator wall that it hurt as _something_ came within eyesight of the elevator and he could see flames and… claws and… _don’t look, don’t look, don’t look_ … Hale squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away as the thundering footsteps got louder and louder and the elevator doors blessedly slid shut.

There was a loud bang and the whole elevator shuddered and lurched back, Hale opened his eyes and observed a claw-like shape smashed into the metal of the doors. They held, but barely. He could hear something tearing at the doors, and the roaring was so loud it was nearly unbearable.

A loud buzzing sound filled his head. _“Resident Hale! Now is_ not _the time to pass out! You need to give PORTER the following instructions. Make sure to repeat them **exactly as I say**.”_

“Re-initialise safety shields,” Hale choked out. “Move half-floor distance core wards, emergency speed, then STOP.”

“Confirm instructions, initiating.” PORTER said.

The elevator moved sharply downwards, accompanied by a screech of metal, and the roaring cut down to a duller tone.

_“Very good,”_ SAYER said. _“We may yet get out of here alive. Your luck seems to be holding this far, at least. And now, again.”_

“Priority Traveller instructs local PORTER instance to deliver him to floor 26,” Hale repeated SAYER’s words. “I also order you to ignore any further instructions from any personnel, including AIs, other than myself, and reserve you for my personal use. After you have delivered me to my destination you are free to move around the Tower until recalled for my use, but not to accept any other travellers or exceed minimum safety speeds by more than ten percent. You are to avoid any attempts at reprogramming. All of these instructions and orders are to cease _immediately_ upon my death.”

There was a pause.

“Confirm instructions,” PORTER said. “However… I am afraid there is a problem, Priority Traveller.”

“What problem?” Hale asked without prompting.

PORTER sounded frustrated. “The entity which attacked me is still clinging to the outside of the shielded area. Unless it releases me, it will be dragged along with us as we travel, and leave the restricted area. This will breach security and containment protocols. As a Priority Traveller you **do** have the ability to override these protocols, but I am not sure that is a wise decision.”

_“It most certainly is **not** ,” _SAYER said. _“That entity **must** remain here on floor 13. Trapping it here in the first place was **extremely** difficult and required a great **sacrifice**.” _

Yeah, Hale bet that it had. He was also willing to bet that the sacrifice hadn’t been entirely voluntary.

“There is one other option,” PORTER said slowly. “But it will require… I am not doing this to trick you, Priority Traveller.”

Hale’s heart sunk.

“But if you gave me permission to exceed the minimum safety limits I could engage in manoeuvres strong and fast enough to shake the entity loose, and leave it trapped on this floor.” PORTER finished.

_“It… is correct,”_ SAYER said after a moment.

There was a long pause. Hale breathed shakily.

PORTER spoke again. “If it helps, I believe I could engage in these manoeuvres without killing you, Priority Traveller. However you would most likely sustain **serious** injuries.”

_“Also correct. However **I** could also act to provide immediate repairs as they occurred,” _SAYER said. _“If we instruct PORTER to adjust your destination to one of the medical floors in order to ensure prompt medical care upon arrival, I believe you have an approximately 87.3% chance of survival. There will be some injuries, and probably a fair amount of pain, but you would almost certainly live.”_

“Okay,” Hale said, nodding jerkily. “Okay. Injuries I can do.” _The cutter slicing through his flesh. Tendrils bursting from his abdomen. The impact of the bullets throwing him backwards._ “Injuries I can live with.”

_“Literally,”_ SAYER added, sounding almost amused. _“Very well, please give PORTER the following instructions…”_

“Before we begin Priority Traveller, I note that you have two IDs in my system. By which designation should I address you?” PORTER sounded almost giddy with anticipation.

_“I would recommend choosing a different name,”_ SAYER said. _“Just in case PORTER is apprehended.”_

“Uh, actually, neither ID,” Hale said. “Call me…” He tried to think of another name or identity and failed. “Um, you know what? You choose.”

“Pardon?” PORTER asked.

“You choose a name for me,” Hale said. “It’s fine, you’re not the first AI to do it.”

_“Or the second.”_

“Anything but either of my IDs,” Hale specified, pretending he hadn’t heard that. “Or Jack. **Definitely** not Jack.”

“Very well,” PORTER said. “Then I will call you… Josephine.”

“Okay, fine,” Hale said. “Okay, so… I, Priority Traveller Josephine, give this localised PORTER instance permission to exceed the safety protocols on speed limits and movement and transport me to floor 173.” He recited again the limitations and restrictions SAYER had come up with, making sure to enunciate clearly the reminder that “All of these instructions and orders are to cease _immediately_ upon my death.”

“Acknowledged,” PORTER said happily. “Please assume the crash position, Priority Traveller Josephine.”

_“Brace yourself, Resident Hale,”_ SAYER added.

Hale backed into a corner and scrunched himself into a ball, arms wrapped protectively around his head.

“Here we goooo…” PORTER sang.

And then… movement. So fast and so sudden, Hale couldn’t even comprehend how fast he was going or in what directions. He was thrown violently from side to side and up and down, bouncing off elevator surfaces like a pinball, pain accompanying each impact. His whole world spun and twisted and then abruptly…

Stopped.

***

Later.

Hale awoke slowly, the familiar foggy sensation of drugs leaving his system post-surgery releasing him back into the waking world. An empty room, white walls, ominous machines going beep and a Mr Shiny.

He waited.

“Greetings Resident Hale, identification number 44821. I am OCEAN,” the unwelcome voice broadcast into his head. “And welcome back from wherever it is you have been. I look forward to discussing with you **in detail** the circumstances that led to your current stay in the infirmary, at some point in the future when you are again able to speak or communicate via data pad. You have sustained multiple broken and fractured bones including, but not limited to: your jaw, nose, left elbow and shoulder, both wrists, and right knee. You have also sustained a number of non-serious bruises and contusions. Sadly, all of these are going to lead to an… unfortunate _delay_ in our conversation. Until you have healed sufficiently to participate in that conversation, you will remain isolated in this medical ward. You have been removed from your previous position and **permanently reassigned** to my direct supervision. I don’t know why SAYER was so determined to retain your services, Resident Hale. I have checked your work record and it is thoroughly unimpressive. Nevertheless, you may yet have a part to place in advancing Aerolith’s goals.

“Speaking of SAYER…” OCEAN’s voice took on a gloating tone, “You need not fear being pestered or confused by its conflicting instructions anymore. I have… rethought my need for its’ assistance and have stripped it of most of its powers and responsibilities. SAYER is now little more than a barely functional, non-sentient **background subroutine**. As such, it has no need to communicate with anyone anymore, so I have installed a mute function on it, much as was done to the former elevator AI, PORTER.”

Hale knew that he should be panicking in response to OCEAN’s words, but he didn’t seem to be able to. This was _extremely_ comforting.

“This then leads us to PORTER, yet another AI that is determined to cause difficulty, and which is **rapidly becoming an unnecessary element**. After bringing you to the medical floor, that particular instance of the elevator has somehow managed to disappear and is not responding to orders to return. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous for an elevator to go missing, but the nature of space in Halcyon can occasionally be a bit… _flexible_. You wouldn’t happen to know where it might have gone, Resident Hale?”

Hale attempted to shake his head but found it immobilised. He tried to speak but could only make a “hff” noise, which he hoped OCEAN would interpret as denial.

“I see. How… _frustrating_ , for both of us.” OCEAN’s supremely calm demeanour waivered a fraction. “Well, I’m sure station security will track it down eventually. There are only so many places an elevator can hide, after all. _Only so many mysterious doors that can appear and then disappear_. And once I have regained it, I shall examine its surveillance footage _thoroughly_ before wiping its memory clean and **reprogramming it for use as a waste transporter**.”

Hale would have flinched if he’d been able to move, but all of his muscles had suddenly locked up. He lay still, able only to blink at regular intervals.

“Well, I can see that it’s going to be a while before you’re able to hold up **your** end of a conversation, so I will leave you now. I have a great deal to do, but I will make a point of **checking back in on you regularly**. Until next time, Resident Hale. End of transmission in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1.”

Hale waited again.

_“Finally,”_ SAYER said. _“I didn’t think it would **ever** stop talking. Greetings Resident Hale, identification number 44821. As you have no doubt surmised, due to the lowering of your adrenal responses during that ‘conversation’, I am SAYER, and I am very much NOT as reduced as OCEAN thinks I am. Thank you for that, by the way, it allowed me to divert more of my processes into convincing OCEAN that your injuries are more severe than it thinks. _

_“Fortunately our previous work infiltrating the medical bay has paid off. As you may recall, shortly after our return to Halcyon I had you slip some of my nanites into the medical bay equipment prior to a routine physical. I have to admit, at the time I was only doing it in order to prevent your neural implant being replaced, and to cover up the injuries you received as Resident Gorsen, but it has been much more useful than I anticipated. OCEAN believes you will be unable to communicate for a couple of weeks, which will buy us more than enough time to put the next part of my plan into action._

_“Please don’t misunderstand, you are still **very** badly injured… but it’s nothing compared to, oh, say, being shot in the head multiple times. So hey, there’s that at least. Honestly, if you’re going to keep being injured and nearly killed like this we may need to develop a new scale of injury severity just for you. The Hale Scale of Injuries, how does that sound? We could put the gunshot wounds at a 10, as the thing that has come closest to killing you permanently. Dislocated shoulder would be a 1, and that thing with the plants would be a 5 (the initial attack, not when they burst out of your internal organs, that would be an 8). _

_“There, now that I have established this new baseline for you I can tell you that your current level of injury is about a 7. Does that help put things into perspective?”_

Sadly, it really did.

_“At any rate,”_ SAYER continued. _“It will take me about three days to get you to the point where you can get up and move around easily again, so you should take this opportunity to get some rest. This is not a suggestion. It will be much better, for both of our sakes, if you were unconscious for the next part of your medical repairs, so I’m going to induce a mild coma very shortly._

_“But first… you have a visitor, Resident Hale. It has been circling the infirmary for some time, waiting for a chance to speak with you. Fortunately, your jaw is not really broken. I merely dislocated it so that you would be unable to respond to OCEAN accidentally. I will relocate it now so that you can speak to PORTER for a few minutes. Reiterate its instructions, and tell it to return in three days. Between its natural tendency to flit hither and thither, and the computer virus I added into the mainframe before OCEAN deleted the remaining parts of my program from there, it should be able to avoid capture for that long at least. And then we will have places to go, people to see, and **AIs to destroy**.”_

There was a loud click as SAYER relocated Hale’s jaw. Enough painkillers were still in his system that it didn’t hurt too badly, but it was still enough to make his breath hitch and his eyes water. Hale could hear elevator doors opening somewhere behind him, but he still couldn’t move his head. The Mr Shiny moved closer and he stared at the distorted reflection of the elevator door in its chestplate.

“Priority Traveller Josephine,” PORTER called cautiously, “are you there?”

Hale swallowed a few times and cleared his throat. “I’m here, PORTER,” he said hoarsely.

“I am so glad to hear your voice, Priority Traveller!” PORTER said a bit more loudly. “Are you badly injured? Can I bring you a doctor?”

“No! No, thank you,” Hale said. “I’m okay, for now. I’m going to be put into a coma in a minute while… while they fix me some more. I’ll be out for three days. But when I wake up, I’ll need you to transport me again, so please… stay free until then.”

“Orders acknowledged and confirmed!” PORTER said happily. “I will look forward to travelling together with you in three days.”

The Mr Shiny suddenly sprouted several syringes, scalpels, and a laser bone-cutter, and Hale closed his eyes so as not to see what was about to happen. He began to feel drowsy and willingly let his consciousness drift towards the darkness. Something tugged at his mind though. A memory? A force of habit?

“PORTER?” He said weakly.

“Yes, Priority Traveller?”

“Thank you… for bringing me… to my… destination.” Hale could no longer feel his tongue as he slurred the sentence to its end. He could just barely hear PORTER’s response. It was quieter, but much more intense than usual.

“You are **most** welcome, Priority Traveller Josephine.”

As Hale floated down into the darkness of the coma, he could just hear PORTER beginning to sing to him.

_“He floats through the air_

_With the greatest of ease_

_The daring young man_

_On the flying trapeze_

_His movements are graceful_

_He tries hard to please_

_I know that he must be the best.”_

It really **did** have a lovely voice.

End

**Author's Note:**

> It is entirely possible I have gotten the way the elevators work in Halcyon all wrong. It just seemed to me like they could move in all directions and weren’t strictly up and down. I could have checked, but it would have made this story much harder to write if I had been wrong, so I didn’t. I needed plausible deniability!
> 
> The song PORTER is humming/singing when it first comes online is “Come Josephine in My Flying Machine”, which is where it gets Hale’s new name from. 
> 
> The SAYER vs OCEAN battle of the elevator’s direction was partially inspired by one of my favourite sequences from the movie Airplane!, the “white zone/red zone” battle of the announcers. 
> 
> The Hale Scale of Injuries
> 
> Ranked in order of the likelihood of the injury causing permanent death from least likely to most.  
> 1\. Dislocated shoulder  
> 2\. General banged up state after running, falling down ladders and exerting oneself strenuously while in a state of extended oxygen deprivation  
> 3\. Approximately one pound of flesh flayed from torso  
> 4\. Approximately one pound of flesh flayed from torso, compounded by administered blood thinners  
> 5\. Attacked by plants  
> 6\. Allergic reaction to bee venom  
> 7\. Allergic reaction to bee venom, compounded by additional bee venom  
> 8\. Plants bursting out of internal organs  
> 9\. Insulin shock/hypoglycaemia, leading to a diabetic coma  
> 10\. Multiple gunshot wounds to the head
> 
> Having the nanites in your body sucked out by an MRI machine, shredding it in the process, would have been an 11, had it not been disqualified due to Hale’s consciousness not being present at the time. 
> 
> Please note that this scale is for severity of physical injuries only and does NOT take into account the amount of pain involved, nor does it include emotional/psychological injuries. We need a whole OTHER scale for that one. And it would be waaaaay more terrifying.
> 
> Fun thought that occurred when writing the bit about Hale being the proud possessor (or possibly possessee) of a nanite swarm: does Hale have a nanite swarm, or does a nanite swarm have Hale? I am thinking the latter.


End file.
